Don't Know If I Should Hate You Or Miss You,
Damn I Wish That I Could Resist You
Can't Decide If I Should Slap You Or Kiss You..."
Mr boyfriend asks me today what do i want for my birthday. I would jump to the ceiling if anyone ever asked me about it ten years back when i were 17, now when i reached 27, birthday is like pretty normal, i don't feel the excitement anymore. kind of scary though, thinking that now i am 27, and there are so much things that i haven't do. and the clock is ticking...tick tick tick...goodness creepy.
Had conversation last night with my eldest daughter, sharp at 1200a.m i told her, "its my birthday! Gimme a hug and sing me a song!" and she said, " i did that already on mother's day, how many times you want to be celebrated?!!", i almost choke to death hearing that! But true, there are too many celebration nowadays and birthday is like pretty lame. (sadly.....).So, before i fell asleep last night, quietly closed my eyes wish that i will return to the time where birthday is so grand and everyone make it an important day for you. Hmmm how i wish.
This morning, i texted Mr.Boyfriend again and said i figured out what i want. I think rather than waiting for him to surprise me with his SURPRISED (that i am sure going to really surprise me), i just tell him what i want and be happy. Safe the arguments, dissapointments and MOST importantly, i get what i want.
Now that half of the day is passed, sitting in the office, on my birthday, i silently thank GOD, for all the things that i have been through all my life, through thick and thin, some shits some golds, it roughen me up, shapes me to a better angle. And even i think i haven't do anything and i am 27 at this moment, i think i can be proud of myself, i have two daughters, beautiful and smart, i can say "no" to people now without feeling guilty about it (if you are me, you know how hard it is to do), and i found the man that i can truly love without wanting to cheat on him. (thanks Mr.Boyfriend), so my birthday, for 27 years I've been here, there are lots of words i can describe it, but LAME is not one of it.