It's the time of the month

I detest certain time of the month. The days look gloomy and dark, the cloud gathers on your head and create the cumulonimbus that look like it going to pour any time soon on you, the cold that makes you shivers. Then, you can see Gregorian playing on my iPod. It is the time of the month. My "depressed" day.

"No, I don't have depression problem!". I told myself repeatedly when the thought crosses my mind. But then why even the slightest song with emotional verse make my eyes welled up. Sigh. Being a woman is hard. You tend to be dragged to the lowest emotional imbalance at certain time of the month. It's hormones, PMS and lot more than you can bargain for.

"Do something about it!". The voice at the back of my head always want to surpass my feeling when it comes to me get attached to this type of emotion. I do try. I drink jasmine tea, green tea and all sorts of tea that are well-known in controlling your bad day. I listen to Beach Boys and all the happy-clappy songs. I even daydream about all the happy days that happened, about to happen and maybe not going to happen. But, once it's getting quiet inside, the darkness wrap his cloak on your heart, the loneliness creeping and take control then bang! You choke. It's like there is a lump on your throat that doesn't want to go away. You can't swallow your emotion. You have to let it out. And my way of getting it out is to just lie in the corner of the bed or somewhere and curl up. There's nothing else that make you feel better at that moment other than be alone for a while and have someone who you care enough and care about you enough to hug you and tell you that EVERYTHING GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.

Coldplay - Trouble

Pixie.

p/s: don't stoop so low. Always give yourself some credit. You deserve it.

Texas Hold Em Night

Mr.Bf and I were having Texas Hold Em last night with few friends at our house. I never play it but starting from yesterday I think I like this game. Knowing me, I am very bad at card games, be it anything from bridge to even monopoly. However, I got a feeling that I kind of good in this. Haha I bet that is what all gamblers thought. But if you're playing with friends there's not much harm that will happen. So I think I will play again!

p/s: do you believe that poker is purely luck or it's you that have to make the most of your cards?

To Love You..Is My Only Dream But To Be Loved Back By You..Is My Achievement

Today marked 3 years of Me & Mr.Bf together.

In words of Cecilia Ahern, Author of p/s: I love You;

“She was a woman who made mistakes, who sometimes cried on a Monday morning or at night alone in bed. She was a woman who often became bored with her life and found it hard to get up for work in the morning. She was a woman who more often than not had a bad hair day, who looked in the mirror and wondered why she couldn't just drag herself to the gym more often; she was a woman who sometimes questioned what reason had she to live on this planet. She was a woman who sometimes just got things wrong. On the other hand, she was a woman with a million happy memories, who knew what it was like to experience true love and who was ready to experience more life, more love and make new memories.”

To My baby; 

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.

Speaking The Language

I was in the train today to work and standing next to me is 2 deaf-mute guys who talk to each other using sign language. I was amazed on how fast their hands move equivalent to how fast they telling the stories. It makes me wonder for a while whether they can catch up on what the other person is saying. I also wonder whether there are different sign languages, or people in different countries speak different sign language and it turns out that there are lots of sign language and different countries do speak different sign language. It makes me sad somehow to think that deaf-mute people that travel overseas find themselves lost in translation. But it happens to even normal people like us and this language barrier that do happen to deaf-mute people somehow make me feel like what is the different between them and us. We are all the same. We are born normal but incapable of certain things (like swimming for me :) ) and they born impaired but maybe they have good eyesight or sharp in body language.

Lost in Translation

Anyway, I learnt that communication is approximately 30% verbal and 70% body language (the figure might be wrong but it somewhere there), so it is interesting sometimes that you do speak the same language with other person but you don't understand what you've been talking about at all. I was out with Mr.Bf last Monday, and we ended up disagreeing over something. I don't know, the more me or him try to explain further,  the more it became complicated and confusing. We are speaking the same language but we are not SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE. I believe our mind totally not in-sync that night hence we don't understand each other at all. So you do have to get connected to speak the same language (eyes, body, mind?!)

Me and Mr.Bf not SPEAKING the same language

My maid is Javanese Indonesian and she doesn't speak English at all. I was impressed the first time she talk to Mr.Bf and he understand her and vice versa. Where on the other hand, I speak Malay and understand a bit of Indonesian but I always find myself lost with her and she does different thing than what I ask. There my problem is I hear but I don't LISTEN.

I went to KFC this morning in KL Central to buy my breakfast and there was this fight between a lady customer and the cashier. The lady wants to buy coffee and the cashier told her that okay but if you buy together with the breakfast set, it will be cheaper and worthy. The lady simply shake her head without even letting the cashier finish her words. After the cashier gave her the coffee and punch the cost, she said oh I just realize that it will be cheaper with the breakfast set. DUH!!!! People are funny sometimes, they tend to blame others without thinking what actually happen and how did you contribute to the mess in the first place. Well I am sometimes not excepted.

Well, it's a good thing to reflect. So start from today I will LISTEN.

P/s: The two deaf-mute guys in the train actually talk to their friends today via video call. How cool is the technology?!?