Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It's the time of the month

I detest certain time of the month. The days look gloomy and dark, the cloud gathers on your head and create the cumulonimbus that look like it going to pour any time soon on you, the cold that makes you shivers. Then, you can see Gregorian playing on my iPod. It is the time of the month. My "depressed" day.

"No, I don't have depression problem!". I told myself repeatedly when the thought crosses my mind. But then why even the slightest song with emotional verse make my eyes welled up. Sigh. Being a woman is hard. You tend to be dragged to the lowest emotional imbalance at certain time of the month. It's hormones, PMS and lot more than you can bargain for.

"Do something about it!". The voice at the back of my head always want to surpass my feeling when it comes to me get attached to this type of emotion. I do try. I drink jasmine tea, green tea and all sorts of tea that are well-known in controlling your bad day. I listen to Beach Boys and all the happy-clappy songs. I even daydream about all the happy days that happened, about to happen and maybe not going to happen. But, once it's getting quiet inside, the darkness wrap his cloak on your heart, the loneliness creeping and take control then bang! You choke. It's like there is a lump on your throat that doesn't want to go away. You can't swallow your emotion. You have to let it out. And my way of getting it out is to just lie in the corner of the bed or somewhere and curl up. There's nothing else that make you feel better at that moment other than be alone for a while and have someone who you care enough and care about you enough to hug you and tell you that EVERYTHING GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.

Coldplay - Trouble


p/s: don't stoop so low. Always give yourself some credit. You deserve it.

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